The day I turned 36 was the beginning of my realization that I was headed towards 40 and it was coming pretty quick. With 39 now lurking around the corner it's hard not to think about a lot of things in my life and in myself. The first thing that comes to my mind is my aging body. Although still in pretty good shape mashallah, I did actually diet for the first time in my life this year. My makeup had to change removing anything pink and girlish looking to all natural earth tones. My closet took on a new look as I got rid of a ton of stuff and I filled it with new more classic looks. I have to admit I am still in the 'thinking' stage as 39 approaches, there are things I am very thankful for and things I definitely need to keep doing to stay young. A lot of emphasis is put on the hijab in Islam and not that much is really written about staying youthful and well...attractive! I am definitely not going to stop trying to look attractive just because I could be a grandmother now. My hijab, it will stay the same. I'm not talking about the me people see outside. People criticize that too much emphasis is put on looking young in this society and although I agree, I still have to live with it. Yes I will age, but inshallah gracefully. I know, I know 40 is still young! I've been told already.
Now about the inside. I am more confident today than I was when I was younger and for that I am eternally grateful to age. It would be a lie to say there is nothing good about almost turning 40. A big lie. And with confidence being one of the biggest challenges for women today ..... or may be it always has been, I hope that it brings a bit of comfort to those of you who read this and are younger. One day you will be much more self-assured. I promise. Its actually the one thing that makes this entire aging thing worth it.
So what do I do from here? I guess I'll keep doing what I have always done. But I want to do it smiling a little more often and laughing just a little bit harder. I took the last few years just a little too seriously. It's not worth it. You miss the sunshine, a cool breeze. Yesterday my daughter and I got caught in a down pore. It was fun and I laughed. The little things in life they do matter. This must be a promise I make to myself.
If there is one thing I would advise younger women in however, it would be to build yourself more on the inside. Go and fulfil your dreams. But if your almost 40 or 50 or 60 and haven't yet, it is still never too late. In fact this might be your one change to do that. You may even be surprised to know your dreams have changed and you have new ones. Go ahead and do those too. Make a difference.
None of the people who love me want me to fall apart and above all, I do not want to fall apart for my own sake. May be no one ever told you this, they sure didn't tell me, but life doesn't have to end at 40 and it doesn't have to start to go downhill. You just may have another 40 or 50 more years to go! Inshallah!
I may have to exercise a little more and eat a little better but hey those things are good for you anyway's. I heard today that 40 is the new 30. I'll plan it that way!
Perhaps the last thing most important thing about approaching 40 are my friends. I am also most grateful for the wonderful women in my life who have helped me, kept me company and have laughed with me! Forget crying...I can cry alone. These days I want someone to laugh with me.
(Thanks Khadi, Mariam, Fadia, Zeina and my girls who keep me young!)
