A Careless Whisper
More often than not, we speak our minds without first considering the weight of words – and indeed, words are weighty. They can change the entire atmosphere of a room. They can ruin or build friendships; they can seal the deal of a marriage, or break one up. With a few little words, we can change the whole mood of someone else’s day and of course, our own. As young women, we must remember that the things we say are not to be taken lightly.*
How often have we said something and gone on to regret it immediately after? How often are our apologies made for saying something unnecessary or hurtful to others? Even passing comments or simple jokes can become nasty rumors and awful insults. How many instances of fitnah have involved the tongue, usually beginning with the all too famous ‘he-said, she-said’?
As a Muslimah it is vital to remember that backbiting and slander are first and foremost haram:
"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is The One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful" (Qur'an 49: 12)
Not only are they harmful to us in terms of our Aakhirah, but harmful to those around us, causing problems in places we probably never expected problems to occur when we first spoke so carelessly. Talking badly of our fellow brothers and sisters is haram, whether it is true or not:
Abu Hurayrah (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated that Prophet Mohammad said: "Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him."
Amongst the high school environment, it is easy to fall prey to the temptation of backbiting. In some places, popularity is gained by sharing the secrets and flaws of others. Is this really the kind of popularity a Muslimah should be seeking to gain? Every girl should seek to avoid befriending those who indulge heedlessly in such idle talk in all its forms. Remember: if they are backbiting others in front of you, they are probably backbiting you too.
Unfortunately, it is all too easy to forget just how severe the sin of engaging in backbiting is whilst we are amongst a group of friends, each urging the other to share something about another. This is one of many reasons why we should seek to befriend those who will remind us to remember Allah, as well as fear Him. The Prophet explains the importance of this in a beautiful analogy:
On the authority of Abu Musa al-Ash'ari (radiAllahu anhu), the Prophet said: "The likeness of a righteous friend and an evil friend, is the likeness of a (musk) perfume seller and a blacksmith. As for the perfume seller, he may either bestow something on you, or you may purchase something from him, or you may benefit from his sweet smell. And as for the blacksmith, he may either burn your clothes, or you may be exposed to his awful smell."
Words are not ‘just words’. They have a great weight in terms of our interaction with each other. They may roll easily off the tongue, but are extremely hard to take back. Let us fear Allah, love each other and guard our tongues, as advised by the Prophet SAW:
The Prophet said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Hereafter should not harm his neighbor, and whoever believes in Allah and the Hereafter should honor his guest, and whoever believes in Allah and the Hereafter should either say something good or keep silent.”(Al-Bukhârî)
*This naseehah is first and foremost a reminder for me, may Allah forgive me for any mistakes I have made.
By Bint Rose
