Every year when the month of Ramadaan comes it makes me reminisce back to when I first became a Muslim and how grateful I am to Allah that He choose me to be a Muslim.
I was brought up in a Christian family spending most of my early years attending church but never really believed in the trinity nor in Jesus as the son of God. Neither of these concepts made any sense to me so I could not accept them as the truth.
Early on, I knew I was not a Christian but was still expected to go to church every Sunday because my mother was a Sunday school teacher and the whole family was active in the church. At that time I struggled so much going to church because I knew I believed in One God but did not think that any Prophet had the right to be worshiped side by side with my Lord. How could I worship the creation along side with the Creator? I longed to worship only the One who created me, I longed to worship God without any partners. Thus I began the searched for Islam for this was my belief. I knew I believed in One God, I knew I loved God, I knew I feared God and wanted to try my best to obey Him. But the Christian belief was Not my belief, this I knew before I became a teenager.
The best Gift in my life came the year that I decided to try to Fast during the Month of Ramadaan although I did not say the shahaadah yet. I found so much peace during my fast and took interest in reading books on Islam during this time. I read the translation of the Quran and got many ahadeeth books, and I listened to tapes from well known scholars, . When I finished with the Quran, I remember crying and knowing that I had been lied to by my Christian family. I felt betrayed by the ones I loved the most (my mother and father) for bringing me up in the Christian faith. Everything I had questioned before had been answered and every thing became so clear to me. What I had known in my heart about the Oneness of God was the truth, so now I must follow my heart. And leave behind what I had been taught since birth and become who I was born to be, a Muslim.
The fast was very difficult for me because it was very hot that year and going without water until the sunset was the hardest part of the fast for me. I wanted sincerely to complete the whole fast because I wanted Allah to be pleased with me and for me to give Him something back in return for Him being so good to me. The humility and lowliness one feels when fasting with the knowledge that we would be nothing without Allah; brought me to the realization that I wanted to submit totally to the one who created me. Thus a beautiful gift was given to me during that tenth day of Ramadaan over 30 years ago. I said the shahaadah and became a Muslim. Alhumduillah
Sister Kamillah
